


You Promised

by parkrstark



Category: Castle
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I'm really sorry, M/M, War, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:45:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3435659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one in which Javier breaks his promise and Kevin's heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Promised

"What's the occasion?" Beckett smiled as she sat next to Castle in the small booth in the back of The Old Haunt. Ryan and Esposito had invited them out for drinks even though they had work the next morning.

 

"Javi won't tell me." Ryan pouted playfully next to his boyfriend. Javier looked at him and smiled weakly as if he didn't want to smile.

 

"Let me guess," Castle smiled gleefully at Esposito, "Espo, the test came back positive?"

 

Esposito rolled his eyes at Castle's joke.

 

Castle though seemed pleased with himself; he never passed up a chance to tease Ryan and Esposito about their relationship. They had been going out for four years and Castle and Beckett have known for about three and a half years.

 

Ryan's nose scrunched up, "Castle, we're not even married yet, I don't think we're ready for kids."

 

One of the reasons Beckett loved The Old Haunt so much was because Ryan and Esposito could be open with their relationship. It was Castle's bar and everyone knew that and that Ryan and Esposito were his best friends, so no one had a problem with them both being men. In fact, many were just as glad that they could be themselves and if anyone had a problem (which wasn't very often) then it was the whole bar against that homophobe.

 

"Yet? Am I hearing wedding bells coming our way?" Castle's grin wasn't teasing; he was genuinely excited for his two friends to finally tie the knot.

 

Ryan smiled and bit his lip with a small nod, "We've been thinking about it."

 

Beckett sat her glass on the coaster and grabbed Ryan's hand in hers, "Well, what are you waiting for?"

 

Ryan opened his mouth to speak, but Espo was faster, "Actually," He cleared his throat and decided he was not sober enough to think twice about what he was going to tell the three people he loved most in his life because he knew they were going to hate it. "There's something that I, uh, wanted to tell you..."

 

Ryan thought maybe tonight was the night that Espo was going to pop the question, but after hearing the grief in his voice he knew it definitely was that. "Javi?" Ryan's hand was immediately grasping his boyfriend's.

 

"Kev," He refused to look at the blue eyes that belonged to his partner because he wouldn't be able to handle the heartbreak. "I signed back up."

 

Espo's hand was suddenly colder when he realized that Ryan had let go and was pushing to the other side of the booth, "No."

 

Espo regretted looking up when he saw tears in Ryan's eyes. "I'm sorry, Kev, you know it was killing me."

 

They had talked about it before, Espo going back on duty for a tour. He just couldn't handle men out there risking their lives while he was home because he got discharged years back due to an injury.

 

"No." Ryan repeated with a firm shake of his head, "You can't just leave me and go and risk dying!"

 

Espo huffed finally locking eyes with his partner, "I'm in just as much danger here on the job as I am out there. I don't understand what the difference is."

 

By now, their voices were noticeably louder and Beckett and Castle were both afraid if they got any louder the whole bar would hear the argument.

 

"Because!" Ryan whispered harshly and jabbed his finger at Espo's chest.

 

"Because why?!" Espo crossed his arms angrily, this really wasn't how he wanted to spend his night with Ryan, but he did understand why Ryan was upset.

 

"Because I'm not there to have your back! Okay? Is that what you wanted!?" He let out a shaky breath and turned to glare at his beer.

 

Espo's form softened and he sighed, "Kev...I'll be fine."

 

Ryan didn't answer him, he went back to drinking his beer angrily. Did Espo really expect him to be perfectly okay with Espo leaving to fight in the military?

 

"Kev, come on, don't be like that. Just for a year, I'll finish what I should've the first time and then I'm yours forever." Espo tried to grab Ryan's hand back but he pulled it away.

 

"Shut up."

 

Espo groaned and turned to Beckett for help, but she shrugged her shoulders with her own upset face. Ryan wasn't the only one upset with Espo's decision.

 

"Babe," Espo finally got ahold of Ryan's hand. "Baby, look at me."

 

Grudgingly, Ryan slowly turned to face his boyfriend after wiping wayward tears from his cheeks, "I'm mad at you."

 

Espo nodded and brought one hand up to cup his cheek, "I know, corazon, I'm sorry. But I can't keep living with this feeling inside me telling me I need to do more."

 

"But you have a family now. You've got your Momma, Kate, Rick...you've got me." His face scrunched up as he tried to hold back tears.

 

"And I love all of you, but just let me do this and when I come back..." Espo momentarily diverted his eyes from Ryan's to dig around his pocket and he pulled out a ring. He gulped and gripped it in his pincher fingers holding it anxiously in front of Ryan, "Kevin, I love you. And there's no one in this world that I'd rather have by my side than you."

 

Ryan didn't hear Castle gasp and Beckett whisper, "Oh my God," because the sound of his heart beating in his ears was too loud.

 

"I know, I'm an asshole for leaving but I have to. But I don't--I can't leave without you knowing how much I love you." He took a deep breath and uttered the words that Ryan only dreamed of, "Corazon, will you marry me?"

 

Ryan swallowed thickly and nodded his head, "Yes, Javier, yes, I will marry you." He smiled with tear filled eyes (mixture of happy and sad tears).

 

Espo smiled easily and ducked his head to kiss Ryan's lips; the taste of their different beer preferences mixed to create an odd taste on their lips, but neither could bring themselves to care.

 

When they parted, Ryan was immediately reminded that Espo was leaving soon. "When...?"

 

"Next week..."

 

Ryan tried to hold back the sob because he didn't want his last week with his boyfriend--no, fiancé-- to be miserable so he mustered up a smile, "So that doesn't leave us a lot of time to practice for the honeymoon then, huh?"

 

Espo grinned as he pulled Ryan closer, "Then we better get busy, babe."

 

They both stumbled out of the booth with an apologetic goodbye to Castle and Beckett before rushing to get a cab back to their apartment.

 

Castle and Beckett sat at the table silently both desperately trying to clear their mind of what they knew Ryan and Esposito had just ran off to do.

 

"So," Castle cleared his throat, "I guess we’re picking up the tab..."

 

\---

 

"I...hate...you...so...fucking...much." Kevin panted between each desperate kiss.

 

"No, you don't." Javier looked down at his boyfriend that was fuming underneath him.

 

"Yes. I. Do." He growled and in one swift motion, he flipped him over so he was on top of Javier.

 

"How about you put that anger towards something else other than hatred." Javier lifted his head to catch another kiss and Kevin met him halfway.

 

Between the bites that were mixed into the kiss, Kevin began to roughly pull at Javier's buttoned up shirt.

 

"I'll get it, babe." Javier lifted his hands to unbutton his shirt, but before he could even separate his lips from Kevin's, Kevin had the buttons ripped off.

 

Javier laughed as the buttons flew through the air and Kevin didn’t even pause to pull the shirt off his shoulders.

 

"How can you just leave me?" Kevin growled as he clawed at Javier’s belt. After a few failed attempts, he had Javier's pants and boxers around his thighs.

 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Javier said as he pulled off Kevin's pants so both of their erect cocks were released from the tight seal of their pants.

 

"No. If you were, you wouldn't go." Kevin lowered his body until it was flush with Javier's and began to grind his cock against Javier's.

 

Any argument that Javier had against Kevin was lost in his groan as their cocks touched. He gasped in a breath, "Kev, you know why--"

 

Kevin lifted a finger to Javier's lips, "Shhh, not tonight. Tonight we forget everything. Just you and me and the love we're about to make."

 

Javier smiled and relaxed against the pillow, "I can do that, corazón."

 

Kevin grinned and leaned over Javier to stick his hand in their beside dresser table drawer. He rummaged around the drawer for only a second or two before his hand closed around the small bottle of lube.

 

Javier rocked his body up against Kevin in satisfaction. Kevin pulled his hand back from Javier's chest to cover his finger with a gracious amount of lube.

 

Javier lifted his hips slightly and wrapped his legs around Kevin so it was easier for Kevin to prep him.

 

Kevin and Javier exchanged a love filled smile before connecting their lips for a kiss. It started pretty chaste, but soon they were shoving their tongues into each other's mouths and Javier groaned as his cock twitched painfully, "Now, Kev, I need you inside me now."

 

"I've got you, baby." Kevin promised as he lowered his hand to his ass and slip a lubed finger in his hole.

 

Javier let out a shaky but pleased moan as he felt Kevin's finger begin to thoroughly stretch him. "More!"

 

Kevin nodded before he slipped in a second finger and focused on making Javier feel good instead of stretch him out because he's ready. Kevin watched as Javier's face twisted in pleasure every time Kevin twirled his fingers just a bit deeper inside.

 

"Oh, Kevin," Javier slowly began to thrust Kevin's fingers in and out by lowering and raising his body. He needed more, he needed it rough and fast, he needed Kevin.

 

Kevin knew that he could spend all night watching Javier fuck himself with his fingers, but the need to be inside of Javier kept him moving.

 

Kevin scissored his hole once more before he slid his fingers out in ease. Javier whimpered at the loss of Kevin, but was glad to see Kevin covering his own pulsing cock with lube.

 

Kevin lined up his dick with Javier's hole and slowly slid himself inside him.

 

"Baby," Javier whispered with his eyes shut and a small smile on his face.

 

Once Kevin was inside, he began to slowly pull back and then slam himself back. Between each thrust he whispered harshly in his lover's ear, "You. Better. Come. Home. Or. So. Help. Me."

 

With each time that Kevin's dick pushed deeper, Javier felt his grow harder. It was difficult to string words together to make a sentence this close until he came, but he managed to choke out, "I thought we weren't talking about this tonight, cielo?"

 

For a moment, Kevin stopped his movement and Javier opened his eyes to see him glowering down at him. Javier couldn't handle it any longer, he needed Kevin to keep moving. Damn it, he was so close.

 

Javier began to try and fuck himself, but Kevin grabbed his hip with a grip hard enough to bruise. "Promise me," He ordered more than requested as he leaned down to kiss Javier. Their lips moved in sync, and Javier forgot for a moment about his throbbing cock between them.

 

As their kiss continued, Kevin decided to start moving his cock in and out of Javier again. This time hitting his prostate each time. "Promise. Me. Or. Break. My. Heart." He nipped at Javier's lips and had him writhing underneath him.

 

"Kevin, I'm so close--"

 

"Promise me!" That thrust was so hard that Javier was knocked into the backboard.

 

Javier nodded over over, "Of course, corazon, I'll do anything for you."

 

Kevin's voice was softer, "Just don't break my heart." He whispered on Javier's lips.

 

Javier's eyes were wide and black with lust waiting for Kevin to push him over the edge. Kevin must have read his mind because a moment later, his hand was wrapped around Javier's throbbing dick. His hand moved in the same rhythm that he was fucking him with; fast and faster.

 

Javier's breathing became shallow as he got closer and a moment later he's came. He felt his cock release into Kevin's hand, but Kevin’s hand never stopped pumping and his cock didn’t stop plunging. Javier felt himself coming down from his orgasm induced high and chants his lover's name over and over, "Kevin, Kevin, Kevin."

 

Hearing Javier say his name like it was the most sacred word in the world was enough for Kevin.

 

"Fuck, Javi," He gasps as he let his release into Javier. Javier kissed behind his ear as Kevin rode the last of his orgasm.

 

"That's it, beautiful." He whispered as Kevin grunted and the last of his cum spurted out.

 

Once his orgasm was over and he could see straight again, Kevin pulled himself out from Javier. He fell into Javier's arms ignoring the drying cum on his hand and stomach.

 

Javier kissed the top of his head, "I love you, Kevin."

 

Kevin snuggled himself deeper into his hold and whispered, "I love you more, Javi."

 

Javier wished this moment could last forever, but he knew that just next week he'd be a thousand miles away.  

 

Usually Javier would have washed him and Kevin clean of the cum before they fell asleep cuddling, but he couldn’t find it in himself.

 

This could be one of the last times he and Kevin made love before he's shipped away for a year.

 

So even though there was an uncomfortable mess of sticky, drying cum covering his stomach and Kevin's cum leaking from his behind, he didn’t mind as long as Kevin was in his arms.

 

* * *

 

The next week passed by too quickly for both of Ryan’s and Esposito’s liking and before they knew it, they were sitting at The Old Haunt’s bar for one last drink before he deployed the next day.

 

The bar closed early for the public about an hour ago, but Castle kept the last hour for him, Beckett, Ryan and Esposito.

 

Ryan continued to smile even though there were tears in his eyes, “We’ve got a big day tomorrow…”

 

“I’m going to be okay, Kev. We’re going to be okay.” Esposito raised his hand to his fiance’s cheek to wipe away a wayward tear.

 

“I’m gonna miss you, baby.” Ryan’s voice cracked as his tears began fall openly.

 

Immediately, Esposito wrapped his arms around Ryan and said, “I know, corazon, me too.”

 

Castle shifted in his seat feeling as if he was intruding on their private moment. He wasn’t sure whether or not he and Beckett should step away from the table for a moment. But a moment later Esposito released Ryan and cleared his throat, “Hey, no crying tonight.”

 

“Shut up.” Ryan’s eyes flicked over to Castle and Beckett as if he’s embarrassed for them to see him crying, but Castle gave him a soft smile and Beckett rubbed his arm as her own tears fell.

 

“You know what?” Esposito straightened himself and set his drink down, “This next year I won’t be here, so you guys gotta keep it together...don’t stop smiling ‘cause I’m not here.” The last part was directed towards Kevin mostly.

 

“Go to every Yankee game but sit on the visitor’s side while you cheer for the Yanks. Tear down the streets blasting the radio. Have a beer for me, don’t spend your days crying. Really.” He lifted up his glass to take a sip before he continued, “And...if I don’t make it back--”

 

Beckett slapped his arm, “Don’t even talk like that, Javier. You’re going to be fine.”

 

Esposito barely registered her comment, “I’m really sorry for doing this, I had to finish and I know I’m probably going to fuck everything up, but you can’t let it ruin everything if I don’t make it back.”

 

“Javier, you’re a piece of shit if you even think about not making it. You promised not to break my heart-- that means you get your ass home in one piece.” Ryan said with narrowed eyes.

 

Esposito draped an arm around him and kissed the top of his head before looking over at Castle and Beckett, “And you guys better find Kev someone who will love him almost as much as I do because we all know no one can actually love him more than I do.” He tried to keep smiling, but everyone at the table could sense tears were about to fall.

 

“No need to.” Castle tried to keep the hope high in the almost empty bar, “This is you we’re talking about. No way in Hell you’d go down that easy.”

 

Esposito gave him a small smile, “Thanks, Castle. It means a lot, but I just want you to be ready just in case.” When Esposito felt his fiance’s shoulders shaking slightly, he pulled him closer. “You three better not forget to raise a beer for me every once in a while.”

 

Castle nodded and raised his beer, “To Esposito, the bravest man we know.” The other three raised their glasses and clinked them together.

 

“I can drink to that.” Esposito smiled as he took a sip of his Miller Lite as Ryan took a sip of his Guinness.

* * *

 

The next few months passed by slowly, but Kevin and Javier sent letters. Kevin wrote to Javier about all the different cases they were solving, and how much him and Castle drove Beckett crazy.

 

They talked about the wedding; not planning, but more of the excitement. Kevin could still not believe that soon he would be married to the love of his life. The minute Javier landed, Kevin was going to drag him down to the courthouse and they were sealing the deal.

 

Kevin wore his ring every day and kissed it each night before falling asleep. It was hard to get used to falling asleep alone and go months without making love with Javier. He couldn’t wait for Javier to come home; they wouldn’t leave this bedroom for days.

 

One day in late May, three months before Javier’s tour ended Kevin found himself waiting for a letter back from Javier. It usually took a few days for Javier to get back to him and he sent a letter a little over a week ago so he was expecting Javier’s letter anyday.

 

He was supposed to finish typing up the report to last case they just wrapped up, but Kevin couldn’t focus. He had a feeling that Javier’s letter was going to come today; he just  had that feeling. He couldn’t wait to open it up and read about how much Javier missed him and loved him signed the same way every time, I love you, corazon.

 

Mail came to the precinct at four, it was a few minutes until then. He was smiling so brightly, Castle came over with a grin, “Did you find your pot of gold?”

 

Kevin could care less about any leprechaun joke that came out of Castle; he was getting a letter from Javi.

 

Ding. Kevin’s face lit up when he heard the elevator open, but when he looked up his heart dropped. It wasn’t the postman, it was a uniformed soldier. He went straight to Captain Gate’s office, so Kevin huffed a sigh and looked back down at his work.

 

Castle and Beckett kept watching the soldier’s movements and found him soon walking towards their desks. “Oh my God,” Beckett covered her mouth when the soldier stopped just before Kevin.

 

Kevin looked up confused, but when he heard his name he wanted to cry.

 

“Kevin Ryan?”

 

Kevin looked up at the soldier’s expressionless face and then to the letter in his hand, “That’s me.” He whispered.

 

The soldier nodded and handed him the letter wordlessly. Kevin took it from his hand and with shaky hands opened it up to read the letter.

 

This letter didn’t start with ‘Mi amor,’ and end with ‘I love you, corazon.’, there were no x’s and o’s because it wasn’t from Javier. He shook his head, but read the letter anyway,

 

_‘Dear Kevin Ryan,_

_The Department of the Army deeply regrets to inform you that your fiance, Javier Esposito, was killed in action in the performance of his duty and service of his country._

_The department extends to you its sincerity in your loss.’_

 

“No.” He whispered and squeezed his eyes shut as he felt someone take the letter from his hand. For Kevin to read that the love of his life wasn’t coming home felt like a bullet in his heart.

 

Castle read the letter and handed it over to Beckett with a misery filled nod confirming their worst fears. Kevin didn’t hear the soldier give his condolences before leaving, but Castle and Beckett thanked him.

 

Kevin sat at his desk not saying anything. He wished he could at least cry, but the tears wouldn’t fall. The words, ‘your fiance, Javier Esposito was killed’ drowned his heart  instead.

* * *

 

Castle and Beckett took him to the loft that night and he stayed for the next few nights. He was still hoping that this was just a nightmare. Javier wasn’t dead. He never even left. Castle and Beckett even took turns watching him to make sure someone was there when he finally did break down.

 

A week or so later when Kevin felt he was strong enough to head back to his and Javier’s apartment, Castle and Beckett took him together. He was silent, though it made no difference since Kevin hadn’t spoken since he read that letter.

 

They entered the dark apartment and Kevin ran his hands along the wall by the door. He looked around the apartment where him and Javi had planned to build their life together. The couch where Kevin first told Javier that he loved him, the kitchen where they cooked and shared meals together, the bed where they first made love. As Kevin walked through his apartment, everything had him and Javier’s name lingering with painful memories and ‘what could have been’s.

 

When he reached his kitchen table, he saw a few envelopes piled up from the mail that Castle had been collecting for him. He found his hands reaching forward and shuffling through the bills until he found a letter addressed to him from Javier.

 

The letter he had been waiting on when he got the news.

 

He pulled out the paper inside and read Javier’s last letter. It broke his heart to read his words, him never expecting this letter to be his last; he talked about his buddies, asked Kevin to check up on his momma, commented on Kevin’s story he told in his last letter. It broke Kevin's heart in a million pieces.

 

Tears finally began to fill his eyes when he read the end of the it,

 

_‘We’re getting close, baby. 90 more days and then I’m all yours again. I think about your beautiful blue eyes everytime I close my eyes. I fall asleep thinking of you and wake up wishing I was in your arms._

_I miss the taste of your kisses, the feeling of you in my arms and the sound of my name on your lips as we made love._

_That’s what keeps me going, baby. You and me soon to be together forever. We’ll be there soon and you’ll see the wait was worth it._

_I love you, corazon xoxoxo_

_Your, Javier’_

As Kevin read the last of the letter, he fell to his knees and couldn't breath. Castle was by his side in a second, rubbing his back and trying to calm him down but it was only background noise to Kevin.

 

“Why’d you have to leave me, baby?” As Kevin asked through sobs to the letter on the ground, finally letting the tears fall. “I love you.”

 

He looked at the ring around his finger and cried, “You promised you wouldn’t break my heart. Did you think this wouldn’t? Because I can tell you that it feels broken.” He kissed the ring after a choked sob. “You promised...”

* * *

 

_“Do you really have to use that?” Esposito complained even though there was a smile on his face._

_“We’ll need this tape to show our children how brave their daddy was.” Kevin came into the video camera’s view quickly as he placed a kiss on Javier’s cheek._

_Javier laughed, “Kids, huh? I haven’t even had the chance to marry you yet and you're talking about kids.”_

_“By marrying me, you’ve promised for forever. Kids are apart of that.” Kevin pointed out as they neared Javier’s gate._

_“So you keep saying. Though you don’t need to to keep reminding me, I’ve been ready to spend my life with you forever.”_

_You could hear the smile in Kevin’s voice as he kissed his fiance goodbye, “I love you so much, Javi. I’ll be waiting here to start our forever.”_

_“You promise?”_

_“I promise.”_

 

 


End file.
